He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
