"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
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