he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
