Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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