if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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