OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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