would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
