My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
