DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He did a backflip because drugs
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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