Im at strip club and am horny
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize