i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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