So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
