Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
