i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize