He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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