I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
We smell like vodka and hangover
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