Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Randomize
