And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
