I accidentally had phone sex last night
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize