and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
