The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Still dying that you shit outside
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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