just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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