It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
