This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
