just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
