I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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