Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
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