dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
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