Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
