I'm drive I can fine osifer
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
