He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
