wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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