I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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