I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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