he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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