called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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