you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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