there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
vagina is talking i cant
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
