so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
