Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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