did you get engaged???
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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