Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
