I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize