so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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