i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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