I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
