OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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