Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
