do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
