everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
