He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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