My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
