roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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