He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
My liver just had a heart attack.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
