I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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