Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
