Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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